yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize