This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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