DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
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