i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
