Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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