She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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