i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
