put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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