When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
