u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It's official drugs can't kill me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
