Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
