Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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