covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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