Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
