i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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