I just saw a hot homeless man
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
