omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
