you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
