My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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