Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
