I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
you had me at cake vodka
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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