i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
