sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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