Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize