I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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