East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
