Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
