Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize