Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
