just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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