the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's official drugs can't kill me
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He? As in you personified your dick?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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