opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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