I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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