I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
