We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
