theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Bring me that man meat
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
