New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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