You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
