let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
