im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
