Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so let's talk penis.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have already put on my inside pants.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize