hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
