i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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