im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
