Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
