Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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