i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
