I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
