His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
At least life still wants to fuck me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I need mimosas to revive my soul
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
