I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
