I wanna bring you to show and tell
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
