Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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