I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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