im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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