Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
