so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Randomize
