And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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