Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
