quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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