i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize