You made me cry and you don't even care
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
