Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
