One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
