is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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