Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
