HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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