oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
