I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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