What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
